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at the end of the day, you Shut up.
Ian

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Saturday, June 20, 2009, 11:43 AM

Hey guys.
Just came back from Seoul.
I lost my fucking phone in the hotel.
I swear they stole it or something.
God.

"What if.. What if I told you I love you?"
"Ian... Stop joking around.. It's not funny."
"But I'm not."
"Ian, you know its impossible. We both know it is."
"Why?"
"I know this is dumb, but, I can't .. It hurts too bad. "
"I'm sorry.. I was such an idiot."

I don't understand why things must happen this way.
It's always him this, him that.
You don't even fucking love him.
Stop making him sound all that great when you don't even have feelings for him
Last year when we tried going out,
We broke up in the end.
What did you tell me?
You feel inferior, you feel insecure, you feel not needed, when you're with me.
But you're the only one I've ever loved.
I wanted to tell you how much I loved you so badly during the trip.
But you never gave me the chance.

I miss you so much that it aches me inside.
I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for being such a bastard.
I ignored your presence.
I took it all for granted.
It was my mistake.
I got used to how you were always there, and took it for granted.
I.. was an idiot.
I know I'm not in the position, not fit to say this but..
I miss the times we were together.
Talking on the phone all the way till the morning.
Listening to your breathing though the phone when you fall asleep halfway.
I miss how you look in the morning.
I miss how you walk around me.
I miss the smile that you said was just for me.
I miss how you make everything seem so simple.
I miss how you can make me smile when I'm down.
I miss how you make the day seem so much brighter.
I miss how you just make the world seem to only have just two of us.
I can't stand seeing you crying alone
I can't stand watching someone else do the job of protecting you.
I can't stand being such a coward and not tell you how I feel.
I really love you.. I really do.
I just... don't know how to express it.
I'm.. sorry..
You can call me a coward.
You can call me stupid.
But you cannot doubt how much I love you.
But for now, I won't disturb you anymore.
I won't bother you anymore.
I'll forget you.
Farewell.

This Seoul trip was all a mistake.
I shouldn't have asked you to go along.
I'm sorry.





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